sex shop stories #11

At work, I answer the phone to some guy.

“I got 9 inches for ya, baby,” he says, all breathless.

“That’s too big,” I say.

“What?!?!”

“9 inches would hurt my cervix.”

“You mean I could hurt you, baby?” he asks.

I was almost impressed. That was quick.

“Yes. Now, I’ve gotta go—I’m working!”

“Wait, wait, just one more thing!”

“What?” I ask.

“Do you like it when guys come on your face?”

“The right partner might enjoy the privilege.” I hang up on him.

He calls back the next day: “Remember me?”

“Yes.”

“Want me to masturbate for you?”

“No. I’ve gotta go—I’ve got customers.”

“Real quick?”

“No!”